Mahakaal: The Monster

I caught this over the past weekend, along with numerous shots of whiskey.
The whiskey didn't help, by the way.

Where in the blue hell do I start with this?
Did I mention he has a mullet?
Granted, any male in the film who isn't under the age of 40 is sporting one.
Bluntly put, this is the Bollywood rip off of A Nightmare On Elm Street.
Similarly to the original film, a "demon" as it's described in the film, terrorizes a young group in college instead of high school in their dreams.
Funny enough, he only really torments two girls in this manner, and they're pretty much the exact same scene, with lots of spider webs.
They got some pretty busy spiders in these dreams...or perhaps it's a subtle jab at the contents of these girls heads.
I tend to think the latter.
The main tormentee, Anita (you'll remember this name for two reasons; the way her mother calls it in such a goofy quirky fashion, and how her late friend and first victim of Mahahaal keeps reappearing in her one nightmare....calling her name...over....and over...and over again to the point where we all protested at the screen "WE GET IT!"
Also I suppose she's the heroine, or the closest you'll get to it, since it's the big strong men who show up at the end (Anita's father, who's also a police chief, and her crooning boyfriend) to defeat the monster in aw pretty weak and silly manner.
The "Freddy" glove itself is a direct knockoff with one notable difference; it's gold plated.
Yep, they spared no expense with this one.
Also of note (and my GF thinks I exaggerate this, but I stand by my pain) there seems to be a musical number every 15 minutes like clockwork.
Anita and her boyfriend sing their love to one another, over what seems to take an entire day in the film; the whole gange of friends go out to the beach to sing and dance again and do a conga line.

A Hindi conga line.
The film places more focus on atmosphere than coherence, and even then, it fails miserably.....darn those spider webs.
Also we have the odious comic relief of one character whose name I don't recall, but will no doubt torment my subconscious to my grave.
The "comedy stylings" of this character are that he's obsessed with Micheal Jackson, looks vaguely like the now deceased pop star in his prime, and yet dances more like a chimp suffering from parkinson's disease.
The actor actually plays two roles, as well.
Double threat!
He also plays a motel manager who constantly has the look of someone who has done waaaay too much coke and enjoys leering at girls giving themselves a pedicure through old style keyholes.
Yes, this is also suppose to be a comedic character.......in hell, perhaps.
At that point I think we were only an hour and a few minutes in, out of a brutal 2hrs, and 28min, and I was reaching for another shot of whiskey.
This film also has no quams about it's blatant rip off of the source material; lifting plot points, and the famous music cue from the original film.
Although unfortunately, the boyfriend in this version does not share the same fate as Johnny Deppp's character in the original, which is indeed a sad thing, since after hearing him in two musical numbers alone, I was ready to see his blood and guts
paint an entire room.
After this film, all I can suggest is that Wes Craven hire a team of assassins, and have them hunt down everyone involved with this production, and kill them with licensed Freddy Krueger gloves.